Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
