We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
