My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize