I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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