So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
