Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
