I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
