i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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