3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize