yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
