I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
