He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
