I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
