The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
