i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
