I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize