um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
