Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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