Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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