you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
