I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize