Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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