just come out here and I will go home with you...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
