just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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