If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
