Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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