Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
