I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
