apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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