Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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