Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize