My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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