i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
