we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
