After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
