Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
