meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
