Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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