im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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