I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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