WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize