What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
