I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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