do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
