We're facebook friends in real life
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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