Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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