Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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