Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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