Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
