i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize
