S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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