Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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