just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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