four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
