Is it because I queefed?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
