Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
