What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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