it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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