That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
