u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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